Happy 5th Birthday, Averie!!!

Averie in 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, and 2014!

I cannot believe it's been 5 years since we first met this sweet girl in person. In some ways, those baby days don't seem that long ago, and in other ways, I can't imagine not knowing this little face. Everything before her seems like another life, or a story I read somewhere.

Actually, her own life has been sort of an interesting story in itself.

My mother tells me about when I was born, and she went to show me to her father. My grandfather's mother, Marie, had been a redhead, and she died when my grandpa and his brothers were just boys, so my grandfather always had a soft spot for girls with red hair, and my mother, his only daughter, was one of them. When he saw me, he told her I was "exactly what [he] wanted...a little girl with red hair and blue eyes, just like Mommy." (My hair later turned to a light shade of red/strawberry, and my eyes turned green, but that's besides the point.)

My mother and her parents were very close, and as a child I was very close to them as well. My parents even have the same wedding anniversary as my grandparents, who had a long and beautiful marriage. Both my mother's parents passed away when I was a girl, and I have missed them constantly ever since. I have always taken comfort in the fact that my grandpa, who succeeded my grandma in death, passed on their wedding anniversary. It seemed to signify to me everything I already believed: that they were together, happy, and continuing to exist in another world beyond this one. That date has always been very special to our family.

I can remember, right when Averie's head started to be visible to the doctors and nurses delivering, I asked what color her hair was, expecting blonde or brown. Rob's hair is brown, and my hair is naturally a light strawberry, so I wasn't expecting my mother's and great-grandmother's full-on bright red hair to show up in my kids. When they said it looked red, I was shocked. Sure enough, Averie Emma was born with a head of bright red hair. Of course she was. She was born with red hair and blue eyes, just like Great-Grandpa would have wanted.

Ready for the best part?

She was born on March 25, the same day my grandparents were married, the same day my parents were married, the same day my grandfather joined my grandma up in heaven. And when she was born on March 25, this day that reminds me so much of my grandparents, with red hair and blue eyes, my grandfather's favorite combination, it was just perfect. I have always known that my sweet Averie is known and loved by my grandparents in heaven as much as she is by us here on earth. She has made me feel connected to them again in new ways, although she had no control over any of it and probably doesn't yet understand it. She is special in a million different ways, and I know she will do important things some day.

Averie, you are the sweet girl I always dreamed of having. You have changed the way I view everything and everyone; you have made me a better woman in every sense of the word. You are such a great daughter, a caring older sister to your brother, and a wonderful friend to everyone because of your huge heart. I cannot imagine having a more wonderful daughter than you. Mommy loves you so, so much.

Happy birthday, Averie! I simply cannot wait to see what you do in life.

Share: Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest

My Brand New Look!

I AM SO EXCITED. Lilibelle Marie has a new look! Or at least a bit of a facelift. In my excitement to get this blog up and running, I slapped up a modified version of a standard Blogger template and promised myself I'd redesign later, something that fully meets my design standards. So here we are. I redesigned, this time from scratch. It's a responsive design created from a template I wrote myself. It looks and feels sharper, cleaner, and more me. And it feels good to have created it all on my own.

I'll get into the full history of my design career another time, but I will say that it started as a (nerdy) hobby when I was in grade school. As soon as I had home access to the internet (which was about 1996), I was learning HTML and creating all kinds of projects with it. I have always loved web design and online media. Though I've always gone through periods of designing a lot and then taking a break for awhile, I do have around 18 years of history with this field.

I've always considered myself a web designer first, who sometimes dabbles in graphic design. A five-year hiatus with most things web design related left me focusing on graphic design, typography, and art. It was both a hobby and a service I put to good use for family and friends, designing invitations, business cards, party decor, etc., and I've realized that these days, I am now more of a graphic designer with an interest in web design. As a result of my break from intensive designing, now that I'm diving back into it, I'm realizing that there is a lot I have missed. I am learning very quickly; there is so much more I know now than I knew even a month ago. I love that this field is ever-changing and that it pushes me to stretch myself, but boy, has it been a wakeup call to realize that even with an 18 year background in web design, I am not an expert. There was a lot I needed to learn before being ready to really launch myself as a credible web/graphic designer for hire. I'm finally about there.

So I am calling this my blog re-launch. I'm ready to fully go public with this! My design site and portfolio will officially launch in the weeks to come, so stay tuned!

Share: Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest

Mean Mommies

My sweet almost-5-year-old girl, Averie. She has a strong personality, like her mama, but she also has a big heart. (I’d like to think she gets that from me as well.) She considers everyone a friend—I have never heard her say a negative thing about any of her friends or classmates. Even though I know that some have not always been nice to her.

Despite your best mommy efforts, sometimes your kid just won’t get along with another. And that’s part of life, of course, but sometimes it crosses the line and people just start getting mean. And I’m not just talking about kids. I’m talking about the moms! This week, I had that unfortunate realization.

I was in a sorority in college. I lived with 40 women in a chapter house, and we didn't always get along. I get the politics of being a girl. But it takes on a whole new meaning when it's your preschool-age child, and when adult women are teaching their young girls that it is okay to be rude to those you don't like. It starts to feel like a very unfair fight, with adults leading by (bad) example.

I’ve talked to her teacher, who reassured me that my daughter's behavior isn't the problem. The other child has a history of being difficult with others, so as long as I know I’m teaching my daughter how to be kind to everyone, I can’t take it personally. I guess I’m just having a hard time accepting that some grown women don’t see anything wrong with singling out classmates their kid doesn’t like and basically just being a mean girl...and raising her daughter to be the same. Did I mention this is a Christian preschool?! Talk about expecting better from other parents.

This is her sleepy face, not her sad face. But still, doesn't it just kill you to see your kid feeling down?!

As for my family? We used this as an opportunity to talk to our daughter about showing kindness to others. When I asked Averie if she still wants to invite this girl to her upcoming birthday party, she said yes. And I have never been prouder of my sweet, caring girl—a girl who always wants to include everyone and make everyone feel like a friend, even when they haven’t treated her that way.

We will be inviting this other child to my daughter’s birthday party. We will be including her in anything that includes the rest of the class. We will treat her no differently than any other friend in her class. Because that’s the gracious thing to do. That’s the Christian thing to do.

We don’t always know what is going on in the lives of others to make them act the way they do. We certainly can’t control how they treat us. But we control how we respond. Sometimes an icky situation can point out something important. I think we’re on the right track. And I think my daughter is turning out to be pretty cool.

Your turn: Have you ever experienced a “mean girl” moment? Or just a difficult mom moment? How do you respond when people are choosing to not be nice?

Share: Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest

2014 Goals

We’re still not even three weeks into the year (by a hair, but whatever), so I’m gonna go ahead and write one of those requisite “2014 is going to be my year!” posts. I’m still savoring the feeling of “new year, new opportunities” and I don’t think that is a bad thing.

I’ve been a follower of several blogs for awhile, and I’ve discovered a lot of new blogs lately. I’m noticing a lot of themes within them lately. Overall, I’m picking up on a trend of emboldened women (especially those in entrepreneurial fields) and the refusal to “play small.” Taking risks and shaking things up in a big way is a common theme, as is setting resolutions that are less concrete and more based on general concepts. These are all ideas I hopped on board with starting in late 2013, after a couple of nudges (or shoves) from life let me know that I’ve been shrinking myself to accommodate other people for awhile now, and it has got to stop if I want to achieve my goals and build my empire.

Now, part of these recurring themes circling the creative entrepreneur community might be due in part to difficulty coming up with original blogging topics, and thus the same general concepts get recycled, with each voice adding a little something. However, I am choosing to believe it has more to do with a global change that is taking place. For me, I feel like a completely different person than I was two months ago, and it’s all due to a change in mindset. I feel like this is also a collective thing; more and more people are seeing the same truths I am. We’re feeling empowered because we’ve realized that we hold more power than we think. We’re choosing to believe and invest in ourselves, and it makes us want to rock the boat a little. We’re realizing that we are fed up with complacency and simply wishing, and it’s a time for action, to see how far we can really go without self-imposed limitations.

We’re also realizing that we do not have to be everything to everybody. Sometimes we of the perfectionist nature create plans that are somewhat unrealistic because there is simply not enough time to do everything perfectly. I am giving myself permission to be more spontaneous and a bit more selfish again this year. Of course, I will always have a heart for others—that will never change. But I have to remember to take care of myself, and that I shouldn’t give people more power over me than they deserve.

I find it pretty cool that so many other women are echoing similar statements at exactly the same time. Smart bunch, we are. This is our year of ACHIEVABLE happiness!

Are you ready for change to come your way? What are your 2014 goals? What steps are you taking to get there?

Share: Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest

Embracing Change

Keeping in theme with my last post, change is on my mind again. More specifically, clearing away the old to make room for the new.

There’s something so refreshing about cleaning out your closet, your bedroom, your whole house—like you’re making way for new possibilities, for who you want to be. After Christmas, I did a HUGE purge of my closet. I went on a huge shopping spree for things that really fit with my overall vision, and anything I owned that didn’t align with that vision was pulled from my closet. Sure, I ended up getting rid of previously loved items, but they were things I wasn’t going to love wearing in the future and which weren’t really serving me any longer. At a certain point, it becomes useless to hang on to stuff that doesn’t bring out your highest and best self.

It’s like that with everything, really. Right now, I feel so in tune with who I really am and what I’d really like to be doing with my life. I feel confident that the changes I’m making are for the best. Inevitably, there will be people and things who don’t get it or don’t want me to change. And I am okay with disappointing them. I’m doing what I feel is best for myself. I’m happy with my life.

I have an acquaintance who has become very into fitness in the last year or so. She’s worked hard and has completely transformed her body. She posts quite a bit on social media about this newfound love of hers, and I’m sure she has plenty of people who love the changes she’s made in her life. I’m sure this new lifestyle has enabled her to meet plenty of new people who also share that vision. At the same time, I’m certain there were old friends and acquaintances who decided, “Eh, not interested in this,” or, “I don’t think we really have anything in common anymore.”

Should she abandon these new passions of hers to satisfy people she used to be friends with? Should she water down or change the content she posts in order to appeal to those people? Absolutely not! If those people don’t care to be involved in her lifestyle or support her goals, they don’t really belong in her life at this point in time anyway. She’s moving on in life, transforming herself into the person she wants to be. Anyone who doesn’t wish to be part of that life is simply making room for new connections who do!

Sometimes you have to say “no” to the okay so you can say “yes” to the great! To me, changes in my current situation are just an indicator that there is PROGRESS! It’s all about quality for me, especially in my friendships. I want to be friends with people who share my interests!

The most inspiring people to me these days are those who are creative, positive, and eager to connect with others. I am so brand new to blogging, but through social media and this whole experience, I’m already being drawn to so many amazing people and it just feels so incredible to connect with people who genuinely inspire me.

If you’re reading this, say hi! Be my friend! And tell me all about your big goals for 2014.

Share: Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest

Diving In!

I have a habit of fearing failure. Big time.

In the past, I’ve let that define what I do and what risks I take. I’ve been all too willing to play it safe, because change frightened me. The idea of failure just downright terrified me. I would plan and dream, in my head where it was all safe, but when it came time to take action—I just couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything more than a very tiny, very calculated step, nothing that could crush me if it didn’t go exactly to plan.

But isn’t that so boring?

I tend to be a very bold, very passionate person, but I’ve developed this nasty habit of playing small over the last few years or so. I’ve let myself believe the lies that have been communicated to me in some way or another—lies like: “You should have started earlier. It’s too late to catch up now.” “You could never achieve what some of your favorite icons already have.” And the most ridiculous one: “You’re just not good enough. Why bother?”

Finding myself fired up at the end of 2013, wanting to finally make my dreams into a reality and wanting to start living the life I feel I’m meant for, I started breaking myself down, getting to the root of all this garbage that seemed to be standing in my way. Through a lot of blog reading (especially blogs geared toward creative entrepreneurs), I discovered that so many other people feel exactly the way I do. Because isn’t it so easy? We may have a group of 30 people cheering us on, but there’s always that one voice of doubt (either someone else, or just ourselves) and it’s enough to nearly negate all the positive support around us.

Our only choice is to make sure we are surrounded by positivity from every corner, and it begins with our own minds.

2014 is my year to be:
Passionate
Emboldened
Fearless
A person of my word
Unabashedly accepting of and secure in myself

It all starts and ends right there. 2014 is a year of change; I can feel it. This time, I won’t be afraid.

Endless gratitude toward those who have encouraged, supported, and befriended me. I always remember who has been loyal and kind to me.

Join me on this journey! I’m breaking down my own walls and pushing fear out of the way to get to where I know I should be, and I LOVE meeting people who are doing the same! Tell me: what has held you back in the past? How do you get past it?

Share: Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest